random calamity ..
Monday, November 24, 2008
So. I was digging around in my old blog. For this post:I wonder if he knows how he makes me feel. I knw it's over, but I still hope and
dream wish there still is a chance. I wonder who his girlfriend is. I'd like to strangle her. He still asks if I have a boyfriend. I sometimes wish that he says he has a girlfriend just to make me jealous. I broke up with my boyfriend cause I actually thought I still had a chanc. His voice makes me feel warm inside. I wonder if he still cares. He makes me happy. He makes me sad. He makes me laugh.He made me cry without actually doing anything. He can make me happy, sad and laugh at the same time. He's so... oblivious. I love his smile; it's adorable. My best day was spending that just few hours with him even in a room full of other people. I annoyed my friends just by talking about him so much. What's so great about him? I have no flipping idea. They say love pwns all; I certainly hope so. I tell myself that I'll just let what happens happen but inside I stil wish for him. It's been 4 months since we broke up and I'm still a lovesick fool. If like is a feeling and love is a decision then the only reason I still am like this is because I decided to. I can stop it right now if I want to. It would take a lot of willpower, but I still can. Only, I don't want to. I am..... pathetic. But, true love never leaves the heart. If he doesn't love me now, he didn't love me then. I thought it was true. And now the only reason why I still love him is because I WANT TO.
You don't normally see me like this. How did this suddenly happen? His fault, la! He called me last night and we talked for half an hour.
Don't know why I suddenly thought about it. This was in 2006. And that feeling's still there. WTF. =.= Things have changed, definitely. But that feeling, the want; it's still there. Whatever it is, I'm still waiting, yeah?
D, you may think this is why I broke up with you. It's not. What I told you is true, okay. I know by posting this it's basically contradicting what I said, but you have to understand. Please? I don't want us to not be friends.