random calamity ..
Thursday, August 21, 2008
DISCLAIMER: This is all fake. Wishful thinking, but FAKE.
Barack Obama Picks Singer David Cook As VP Running Mate
-Barack Obama shocked the world today as he announced his Vice-Presidential running mate was going to be none other than the wannabe rocker, and American Idol season seven winner David Cook.
Earlier this week rumors had been swirling around that Barack Obama had chosen Sylvester Stallone as his running mate, but that rumor was quickly squelched with the stunning news that Obama had chosen the singer David Cook as his new number two man.
Bette Jurbooty, Obama spokesperson, stated that David Cook was the obvious choice since Cook had garnered more votes on the popular American Idol show than any previous contestant and any presidential candidate in history, a whopping 97.5 million. Jurbooty stated that the older members of Barack Obama's campaign team had kicked around the idea of adding Sylvester Stallone to the ticket, but the younger members asked "When was the last time anyone saw a Sylvester Stallone movie"? So the Obama campaign went with a more recognizable celebrity to give him credibility and the lead in a very tightly contested race over his rival John McCain.
Also considered for V.P. was second place winner of American Idol seven, David Archuleta, who currently has a number one hit single on iTunes titled "Crush". The Obama team had knocked around the idea of an Obama/Archuleta ticket with slogans like "Crush John McCain" and "Obama is Archudorable", but Archuleta's age and Mormonism was a major concern. "Obama decided to go with the much older David Cook to attract women voters, especially the "Cougar" vote", Jurbooty said, "Besides Cook received more votes than Archuleta and Barack Obama needs more of the older white women vote that had gone for Hillary Clinton during the Primaries". "So Cook was the obvious choice".
The Obama campaign stated that once Cook finishes his American Idol Pop Tart's tour in September he was going to join Obama on the campaign trail.
Calls to David Cook have not been returned.
Meanwhile the McCain camp quickly came out with a response on the Obama/Cook ticket with several video tapes of Cook and fellow season seven Idol contestant Michael Johns dancing together in a very sexually suggestive manner. McCain spokesperson, Mike Hunt, stated "What type of Vice-presidential candidate dances like that on stage with another man "? "Besides Cook is not even a good dancer"? Hunt also added, "Also have you seen his cheesy group numbers on American idol"? "Is that really a true rocker"?
Please let it happen! :D